Wow, it's 11 o'clock...

Scott came over today at about 12:30, which happened to be about thirty minutes after I got up. So I went and took a bath and we took off to go get luch, but everything in Globe is closed because everyone is on vacation, so we just came back home and had hamburgers from the grill. They were good. Then we played Risk and then went to Dairy Queen, and then came home and looked at handguns and hunting stuff and then played Risk again, and now I'm sitting here in front of my computer writing something that nobody even reads... I really need to put this stuff in an actual journal and lock it away somewhere and read it in fifty years so I can be reminded just how much of a loser with no life I used to be. ^_^ Fun...

I could be so much more, I could...

Song Quote of the Moment: "You were meant for me"

~Jewel

I want to be a Powerpuff Girl... Blossom, that's me.

I don't really have very much to write about - I basically have the same thing on my mind all the time, and not much else is really going on. I did get my shooting schedule from JP. We're gonna train up a lot, and I have matches in August (15th - 19th), September (19th - 23rd) and if I get lucky enough to go to nationals then October (6th - 12th) too. I don't remember where the October competition is, but August is in Arkansas and September is in Wyoming.

I'm not going to a Diamondbacks game anymore though... I was going on the 9th but JP's planning training that day and Cody REALLY wants to go, so I told him he could. I don't know what I was thinking because I really love the Dbacks and I really wanted to go, but I guess it's okay. It's not the end of the world. I'll just have to buy tickets and find somebody to go with me. *shrugs*

I had a dream I died last night and nobody cared. Is that a bad sign?

Song Quote of the Moment: "You make me so crazy"

~Jewel

My magical style is Psychic.

What type of Magic do you work? Take the Magical Style Quiz by Paradox.

Just reminding everyone...

*screams*

Yeah I needed that. I swear it never rains but when it pours.

Well I think Dave has decided to come back to Tucson for at least one semester. The startup company that he's interning with is offering him 50-60k a year, tuition, housing, and stock options to move to California and work for them while he finishes school. I told him I agree that it's a great opportunity and everything, but he's already got a lease signed and tuition paid in Tucson. I think he should come back for at least this semester and that gives him time to really consider everything, but at the same time he's not backing out on all the stuff he's already got arranged. PLUS it's one more semester he's kinda close to me. Am I selfish? OH yes...

Woo, well I know some have been asking what exactly is it I'm so confused about with Brian. Where do I begin? Let's see... First of all I guess I don't really understand why we broke up in the first place. I mean, I know he got the position as a Branch President at his church and he told me that was a big part of it, and I know that it was also because of his family, but I don't know WHY. You know? I don't really get how the BP thing has anything to do with me. I was talking to Brent and he said that usually BP's are married, and that the goal of every young American-blooded Mormon is to get married (sorry, I'm not mocking, it was just funny at the time) so I guess that could be part of it, but oh I don't know. I wasn't exactly leading him to the altar, I mean we'd been together what? Two weeks? Yeah... The whole thing just makes me feel like he's saying, "You're great and all, just not good enough for this. And that really hurts.

Also, I really don't understand why he wanted to try this in the first place if this little 'religion gap' was going to be such a problem for him. I mean, he's the one who asked ME to be with him, not the other way around. He started the whole thing and then just sort of decided that it wasn't going to be right and bailed. That's another thing too. He never even gave me a chance, he just quit. He didn't ask me what I thought or felt or give me the benefit of the doubt, and I really don't know why. And I know that this probably wasn't very easy for him, but it seems like it's been a lot easier for him than it has for me. *shrugs* I don't know, maybe I'm just being too analytic. The problem is, I DON'T know. I haven't been able to talk to him about it and it's killing me. And I know I should just email him this page right now and tell him everything that's bothering me, but I don't want to upset him or make him mad so I probably won't even bring it up. I'd rather just go on feeling bad. Does that make me a coward or considerate?

I just don't know!

Song Quote of the Moment: "That's what girls do"

~No Secrets

Hah. No secrets...

I'm kinda scared...

I went ahead and emailed Brian last night after I finished talking to Scott and Brent. All I told him was that Brent and I discussed him, but I want to say so much more... I want to tell him everything that's on my mind and ask him all the questions I've been running through my head over and over again, but I don't know how he'll take it. *sigh* I'm such a loser...

Song Quote of the Moment: "I guess this is growing up"

~Blink 182

I'm talking to Brent... I haven't talked to him really a lot since he left back in March. He asked me to go to the Jewel concert yesterday, but I had to take my PT test. I miss him though, he was a lot of fun to hang out with. I wish he'd stayed in the guard, but I guess everyone is going to leave sooner or later. *shrugs* Oh sweet advice - Brent you're a Godsend.

Hi Dave. Hi Scott. HI CARLOS!!! I haven't written that in ages - I'm so sorry Carlos.

I'm going to Arkansas in three weeks!!! I'm going with JP and Matt for a shooting competition. I'm not really expecting to do good or anything - just a learning experience. I'm going to get good though, thanks JP, and next time maybe I'll do okay. It should be fun though. And I got to shoot a 44 Magnum and a 45 and a Beretta 22, and 2 AR15's, and two Glocks too.

Check this conversation out:

KaiserWilhelm says:
a ward is the most basic unit of the church. a group of wards is called a stake.
Tiffany says:
okay
KaiserWilhelm says:
tell me.
Tiffany says:
uhm...
Tiffany says:
okay well
Tiffany says:
to make it short I was seeing someone who was mormon, and he decided that it wasn't going to work
Tiffany says:
I think a lot of it was pressure from his family
Tiffany says:
but he also said he decided because they made him a branch president, or he volunteered I guess it is
Tiffany says:
so I'm just cunfused
Tiffany says:
and I still can't type
KaiserWilhelm says:
a branch president usually has to be married.
Tiffany says:
he isn't
KaiserWilhelm says:
is he in globe or flag?
Tiffany says:
Flag
KaiserWilhelm says:
possibly a student branch at NAU?
Tiffany says:
I don't think so - it's possible but I think it's with the regular church
Tiffany says:
*shrugs* I don't know honestly
KaiserWilhelm says:
well, i'll tell you this: mormons can act strange with non-members many times. ever since the early days when we had to stick together as we were chased from state to state
KaiserWilhelm says:
i don't agree with it tho.
Tiffany says:
yeah I never had any problems before with him though
Tiffany says:
and everything was great until he told his family about me
Tiffany says:
I don't know...
KaiserWilhelm says:
marriage is a major goal for most young mormons. and the goal is to be married in the temple.
KaiserWilhelm says:
unfortunately for that, both have to be members of the church in good standing.
Tiffany says:
I understand that, and I really don't know what COULD have happened - he didn't really even give me the chance. We were only together for about two weeks before he freaked
Tiffany says:
it's kind of funny because Trevor and Tracy (Cooper) tell him he's crazy all the time
Tiffany says:
and they're both mormon too
KaiserWilhelm says:
that's cooper
Tiffany says:
yeah
KaiserWilhelm says:
i finally remember him now.
Tiffany says:
Trevor and Tracy are the ones I'm staying with
KaiserWilhelm says:
that's cool
Tiffany says:
but the guy I was seeing - I don't know if you know him or now
Tiffany says:
^t
KaiserWilhelm says:
well i'll tell you this. He must be crazy.
Tiffany says:
lol thanks
Tiffany says:
Brian Smith...
Tiffany says:
*shrugs* He was in second
KaiserWilhelm says:
i thought it might have been him. i always thought he was crazy. my brother, capt. wilhelm, thinks he cool, tho.
Tiffany says:
hahaha
Tiffany says:
yeah he is kinda crazy sometimes
Tiffany says:
I don't think I've ever met your brother
KaiserWilhelm says:
he was at the unit christmas party two years ago. he and my dad showed up in class a's
Tiffany says:
I got stuck being a babysitter two years ago for the stupid jumping castle
KaiserWilhelm says:
oh, that's right.
Tiffany says:
lol
Tiffany says:
so do you think I'm crazy?
KaiserWilhelm says:
not a chance.
Tiffany says:
thanks
KaiserWilhelm says:
you're one of the most normal people i know.
Tiffany says:
lol
Tiffany says:
yay
Tiffany says:
the rumors aren't true!!! ^_^
KaiserWilhelm says:
of course, look who's telling you that.
Tiffany says:
hahaha
KaiserWilhelm says:
my normal might not be what you want to shoot for.
Tiffany says:
well, that's true...
Tiffany says:
KIDDING
Tiffany says:
don't kill me
KaiserWilhelm says:
i just want to say this, tiff. Brian's a smeghead.
KaiserWilhelm says:
you've always amazed me because you hardly ever swear and you deal so well with the crazys in the guard.
Tiffany says:
lol thanks
Tiffany says:
it's gotten a lot crazier with so many more people there
KaiserWilhelm says:
if he's worried about you not being mormon, that's dumb. you are more what our church teaches we should be than many of the people i know.
KaiserWilhelm says:
how many more?
Tiffany says:
Thanks Brent, that means a lot

*sigh* I need to give it up, I do...

Yeah me!!!

It's Wednesday... It's raining here in Globe and it's wonderful... And I passed my pt test yesterday up in Flagstaff, so I'm almost the happiest person alive. I was so thrilled!!! I actually ran 1.5 mi. in 16:01 this time, compared to 17:02 last time, so I took an entire minute off my run in just a week. Yay me! So now I just have to wait on my background packet getting done and then I have to do a polygraph, and after that I'm hired! I'm so glad I'm getting out of Globe - nice place to visit, awful place to live.

What else? I think Trevor and Tracy are more excited than I am... Saw Brian and he was kinda mean... I'm going to get over him if it kills me - I have to...

Song Quote of the Moment: "Rock! It's what we're all about, it's what we live for, come on shout it out"

~Sum 41

Well, let's see...

I got to where I could pass the run in Globe. Unfortunately I'm about 3500 ft. higher in elevation now, so hopefully I'll be able to do it up here in Flagstaff too. I'm SO tired. Tracy and I stayed up last night until about 3:30 watching Domestic Disturbance and A Walk to Remember. They were both really good, but it sucked wen the girl died... Sorry for those of you who haven't seen the movie yet - didn't mean to give it away.

On to other news... I just talked to Carie and Jessi... Ashley is doing great. Jessi said they're "hanging out; getting to know eachother." I can't imagine the way she feels right now, but I thought the way she said that was so cool. Anyway I should have pictures any minute now from them in my email box. Then I get to show her off to everyone - she is just the cutest baby I've ever seen.

Brian went to Las Vegas yesterday! I couldn't believe it when he called Tracy last night. We were both like, 'You did something spontaneous?!' I'm glad he went though - he needed to do something like that, and it gives him a chance to get away and relax. Besides, he's getting to see friends from his mission and getting to experience Vegas, so I'm happy for him. I really miss him though...

I'm going to pass my pt test, I'm going to pass my pt test... I keep telling myself that over and over, but this week I actually believe it. I want out of Globe. I really don't want to be stuck there and under my mom's roof anymore, and the only way to make that happen is to pass this stupid test. Motivation enough? Oh yeah...

Song Quote of the Moment: ""With all that I've done wrong, I must've done something right"