Saturday, August 11, 2001


Happiness... It just SOUNDS high. I don't know - maybe I'M high. I got this spur of the moment idea to just go to Las Vegas tonight, but unfortunately there were no flights out tonight so I'm leaving first thing in the morning. I'm only staying overnight, and it's a LOT of money for a one-nighter, but you're only young once, right?

I really wish that Corey would call me. There's so much I want to talk to him about. I swear I never stop thinking about him, be that good or bad. If we had been talking this week I would have said screw it and called him tonight and we would probably be DRIVING to Vegas right now... :) I know - I think I'm a little too spontaneous, but it just feels so good...

I'm gonna be nineteen... I'm getting excited now. Mostly because my cousin Michelle is going to be down from Vegas during my birthday and Dave and Daniel, my homie g-dawgs *laughs* are going to be back in town, so it's going to be one hell of a fun time. I CAN'T WAIT! The guys at work say they're going to go get me soused too. I don't think so... I tailed them to a bar the other night just to hang out and play pool and when my boss got *ahem* intoxicated he ended up grabbing my ass... Talk about suprised. He's quitting in a week, and I couldn't be more relieved. It made things really awkward you know?

I need to go to bed. I have to get up at 2:30 and start driving, and it's already 11:20. AHH! Why am I flying out of Phoenix again? Oh, yeah, because Tucson sucks and doesn't have anything open until 11 tomorrow morning, that's why. I'm going to be so TIRED. I'm going to get my tounge pierced, too, I think. Shelly is really trying to get me to. Hell, after all the bucks I forked over for this plane ticket, I might as freakin' well. *shrugs* Here's to being a little TOO spontaneous. :)

Song quote of the moment: "I am happy, feeling glad. I got sunshine in a bag. I'm useless, but not for long; the future is coming on."


"I can't believe that something like you could happen to me."


Tuesday, August 07, 2001

Well now...

I've been getting a little cynical on myself here lately and I don't really know why, but I'm feeling a little lost actually. I've been trying to figure out where it is I really want to be in life, which ties in directly with what I want to do, which takes me to what am I GOOD at? I can sing, but like that's ever going to go anywhere. I can write, but only ten-thousand or so words before I get totally bored with what I'm working on and start ANOTHER project that I'll never finish. That's what I feel like right now. I'm always pushing forward and trying new things, but I never get to finish or follow up with what I start, and it's honestly driving me crazy. I am going to nursing school and I think I'll be happy with that, but it just seems so far away. *shrugs* Maybe I need a muse, someone to inspire me, or one hell of a reason, or even someone to kick me in the ass and say, "Hey! Get it together, girl!" I don't know...

My brother turned 17 today. I really hope he finds his happiness, and I really hope he learns to love my mom again. It rips me up whenever I think about how close we all used to be and how distant we are now. But my mom has Cody, and my dad has Buz, and my cat and I are doing just great... :) I hate being alone.

Song quote of the moment: "I can't stand to fly... I'm not that naive. I just want to find the better part of me. I'm more that a bird, I'm more than a plane, I'm more than some pretty face beside a train, and it's not easy to be me."

~Five for Fighting

God Bless everyone... Peace.