*screams*

Yeah I needed that. I swear it never rains but when it pours.

Well I think Dave has decided to come back to Tucson for at least one semester. The startup company that he's interning with is offering him 50-60k a year, tuition, housing, and stock options to move to California and work for them while he finishes school. I told him I agree that it's a great opportunity and everything, but he's already got a lease signed and tuition paid in Tucson. I think he should come back for at least this semester and that gives him time to really consider everything, but at the same time he's not backing out on all the stuff he's already got arranged. PLUS it's one more semester he's kinda close to me. Am I selfish? OH yes...

Woo, well I know some have been asking what exactly is it I'm so confused about with Brian. Where do I begin? Let's see... First of all I guess I don't really understand why we broke up in the first place. I mean, I know he got the position as a Branch President at his church and he told me that was a big part of it, and I know that it was also because of his family, but I don't know WHY. You know? I don't really get how the BP thing has anything to do with me. I was talking to Brent and he said that usually BP's are married, and that the goal of every young American-blooded Mormon is to get married (sorry, I'm not mocking, it was just funny at the time) so I guess that could be part of it, but oh I don't know. I wasn't exactly leading him to the altar, I mean we'd been together what? Two weeks? Yeah... The whole thing just makes me feel like he's saying, "You're great and all, just not good enough for this. And that really hurts.

Also, I really don't understand why he wanted to try this in the first place if this little 'religion gap' was going to be such a problem for him. I mean, he's the one who asked ME to be with him, not the other way around. He started the whole thing and then just sort of decided that it wasn't going to be right and bailed. That's another thing too. He never even gave me a chance, he just quit. He didn't ask me what I thought or felt or give me the benefit of the doubt, and I really don't know why. And I know that this probably wasn't very easy for him, but it seems like it's been a lot easier for him than it has for me. *shrugs* I don't know, maybe I'm just being too analytic. The problem is, I DON'T know. I haven't been able to talk to him about it and it's killing me. And I know I should just email him this page right now and tell him everything that's bothering me, but I don't want to upset him or make him mad so I probably won't even bring it up. I'd rather just go on feeling bad. Does that make me a coward or considerate?

I just don't know!

Song Quote of the Moment: "That's what girls do"

~No Secrets

Hah. No secrets...