I absolutely give up...

Yeah. Merry Christmas everyone. Actually Christmas wasn't all that bad... I had fun. Then today happened.

I started out this morning feeling pretty good actually. I got up early, got all of my stuff together, and headed into town to pick up my paycheck. Well, I got that taken care of and figured my finances for the week (I was right about the $60 to live off this week) and I was headed back to work. Well, I was coming up on an intersection and the light went yellow. I started slowing down, but then I dropped something. I don't even remember what I dropped, but I looked down to get it, and the next thing I know I was ramming into the back of someone's car. Oh my God I thought I was going to have a heart atack right there. We pulled into an apartment complex and called the Sherriff's department, and they showed up about 45 minutes later. I got cited for "failure to control speed to avaoid an accident", a $91 dollar fine, by the way. I also have to pay for my insurance that is going to go through the roof. And I still have the $85 for traffic school, along with $200 for my living accomodations and whatever my phone bill is when it comes in. *sighs* I'm lucky I guess that it wasn't that bad... Their car has some black marks on the rear bumper and it's dented a bit, and the truck lid is sitting a little crooked, but nothing more than that. My truck's front bumper is pushed back, but that's all. I have to go early in the morning and have an estimate done. And what kills me is this: When I talked to my dad he was pretty calm about the situation. I knew my mom wouldn't be and that she would fly off the handle, but what I didn't expect was what hurt the most. She asked about the damage and told me what an idiot I am and how much I deserved this, but never, not ONCE did she ask me if I got hurt or if I was okay. I know it's just because she was mad and wasn't thinking about it, but that's how she gets every time she's mad at me. It's almost like at the moment she really wouldn't care if I walked the face of the earth or not. And I know how much of a disappointment I am to my parents - dropping out of school and being in so much debt and now this... I just don't want to do this to them anymore. I'm so tired, and I just really don't know what to do. And tomorrow is the 2 year anniversary of Papa's death and I still miss him so much...

I hate my life.

Song Quote of the Moment: "I'm a slave of karma."

~Splashdown

Whew! Happy uhm, Sunday, yes, Sunday everyone...

I just got home from work! It really wasn't that bad though, because, one, no really rotten customers and two, it was SO busy that I didn't really get a chance to think about much else. And I have some frinds there now, so it's actually getting better. Tonight I closed with Andrea. Oh my goodness that girl is funny. She's only seventeen and still in high school (a junior I think) but she's just too much fun to be around. We're partners in crime, Malcolm says. That's us! ^_^ Just two immature brats out to brighten your day! Thank you for shopping at Ross, and have a pleasant evening...

Whoa, reality check. Sorry about that everyone. You know, I've realized something. Lately a LOT of people have been coming to me talking about their relationship troubles. This puzzles me really, because you know, like I have a lot of experience in this field. The main thing I hear all the time though is, "I'm just not happy." Oh boy... Who is really? I'm no expert, I know,l but it seems to me that if you're in a relationship and you really want it to work it's not always about you. What should make you happy is making the person you're WITH happy. Now I'm not saying go to an extreme and do everything for them and fall into deep massive depression (getting carries away again, sorry), I'm just saying that relationships come with compromise, and that's something you have to get used to. It's something that isn't easy to adjust to for a lot of people, especially if they're bent on getting their way all of the time. But I think true happiness in a relationship is knowing that the other person is happy, and really there's not much else to it. So if that answered any of the four million questions that I've gotten from nameless faces, yay! If you had nothing to do with this part of my entry, sorry to waste your time...

Well, I guess I can be philosophical at times. Wow... hey Carlos. I'd call, but it's kind of late. Same with you, John, since I know you'll be reading this sooner or later. :) I'm talking to Scott online right now... WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP SO LATE?!? I have an excuse, he doesn't. Talked to my brother today, too. He managed to get the whole series of Lord of the Rings books, the little brat. He said I could borrow them, yay, and I said I'd take him to see the movie, so hopefully I'll get to see it again soon. It was SOO good...

Song Quote of the Moment: "This is how you remind me"

~Nickelback